My diary

I’m walking even in this intense heat, and I don’t see anyone on my way. If I had met anyone, I would have asked for the most precious thing for me now, the water. It’s scarce here, the land is dry, and my time is running out. If I don’t find a source of water, I will die of thirst.  Looking upwards, I can see the sun being harsh on me, and there is nothing I can do about it. This is my fate and I need to find a way. I walked as much as I can, and now it’s up to God to save me. I need a miracle to overcome this fate. What if the rain comes?

I checked the time, it was 7:15 AM which means I missed the bus. There was a time when I used to worry about such simple things, but now I don’t feel any of it. Well, it was my first day at work, and my only bus to that place. Still, it doesn’t bother me, for there is always another day and a different job waiting for me. And this is not the end of the world, but maybe the end of my first job.  Looking out, I can see people rushing towards somewhere, and I stay there like a stone, smiling and pondering over what’s next? Then I remembered how hard I tried to get that job, and how quickly fate took it away from me. Maybe it was not meant for me or something greater is waiting for me. Who knows?  I just stood there reflecting on the challenges I had to face getting that job, then I slowly started moving, one foot after another, watching everything that’s happening around me. Suddenly, something caught my attention, it was an ad placed so far away, and still enough for my eyes to read. And

Last night, I had a dream. In that dream, I found myself in the midst of a celebration, and I was dancing. Then, I got this weird feeling like someone was stalking me, but I couldn’t pinpoint who it was. I ordered a drink, and looked around, but there was nothing. As I was returning to the dance floor, I began to notice eyes which were targeting me, and that really started to make me uncomfortable. I wanted to ask them what’s wrong with them, but I couldn’t. I asked for help, and no one cared. As they were closing in on me, I closed my eyes, and that’s all I could remember from the dream. When I woke up, I was really tired, and I don't know why I feel so tired after having a good sleep, added with a dream. It’s like I never had a minute of sleep, and the odd thing is such nights are plenty now. So, today, I’m going to find out what’s happening. I opened my eyes, and I had only one urge, to scream. And, I was screaming endlessly, as people took me in arms, and gave me a kiss on the

It’s dark in here, and I don’t know where I’m. I don’t want to scream for help, because I was doing it all my life, and all I could hear back was my echo. Wish I could see a light source, so that I can move toward it, but I can’t see anything. Still, I need to keep moving forward even if without direction. Maybe someday, I will find that source of light. I don’t fear this darkness anymore, for I spent most of my life in it. And I don’t want to invite anyone to this wretched place. It’s me alone, walking endlessly to nowhere with only one thing in mind, a ray of hope.

This place is something special. You can know it, when you put your first step inside, menacing and calm at the same time. Here, you will feel things that are beyond comprehension, and there will be temptations inside to talk to someone about it, but you can’t. You can’t come here uninvited and expect to leave unharmed, for it is guarded beyond anyone’s imagination.  Sometimes, I wish I could open up everything to someone, but there is none I can trust. When the sun sets, letting the darkness creep in, you will feel the temperature decreasing in certain places inside, and you might think that it’s happening because of the climate outside, but it’s not. At first sight, you may think that this place is habitable, but when you look into the intricate details, you will know that something is wrong here. For that, you will need an eye for detail, not just watching, you have to question each and everything inside, and once you connect the dots, it might be too late for you to escape.

I have been living a sedentary life without engaging in any kind of activity. So, I decided to go for a walk. I put on the shoes, and started walking. It was an evening. At first, my path was buzzing with people, then as I moved forward, I found them less in numbers. I wondered why I’m not seeing anyone on my way. Suddenly, the noise around me ceased, the wind was gone, and there was nothing besides silence. I looked around, and it was only me, alone. When I looked at my watch, the time was stuck. I screamed, but there was no one to hear me. I stood there, helpless, trying to figure out a way out. But, deep inside, I knew, no one was coming.

The day when they stabbed from behind, betraying the trust I had over them, I still remember. On that day, they took something from me, something valuable, after sedating me. Those days, I spent in the dark, all alone, shivering, finding comfort in the pillows, I see them when I close my eyes. I don’t know whether, will I ever be whole again after what they have done to me. Yes, I still remember. The moment when that needle pierced through me, the tears I had in my eyes, the energy draining from my body, everything is crystal clear to me, even now. Nobody looked for me when I was out in the dark, all alone, unable to think clearly, fully drugged. They took everything away from me, and burned me alive, and still I survived. It’s not the wound that bothers me, and what hurts is the betrayal, the kind of betrayal which is far worse that no words are enough to describe it. Yet, I still live among them, and I stopped looking for a way out, for there is none. Now, what’s going to happen? Not

Somebody is knocking on my door. Who would that be? I don’t want to open it. Who knows what it is, it could be a wraith, for I’m hearing her whispers all around me. What does she want? My blood? She is urging me to open the doors. There was a time when I used to open my doors for such wretched creatures, not anymore. She might be planning to play the next trick from her repertoire, for playing victim, to get some relief from what she has done. Maybe her past actions are haunting her and giving sleepless nights, and the funny thing about that is no matter how much she tries to get over that, it will continue to torture her for the rest of her life, and there is no escaping it. The sooner she realises it, the better for her. Deep inside, she knows these facts, then why is she knocking on my door? Maybe she wants to get me to play my evil side, so she can be the victim and get some comfort knowing that she tried to make things right, but that’s where the twist comes, she would get nothing

The war is coming. I can sense the shaking earth beneath my feet. The screams, the sound of drums, and the silent nights. Everything is telling me that this war will be an epic one. I don’t have any soldiers to command nor do I take orders from anyone. The only thing I do is watch my adversaries from places they can’t imagine, always hovering over them, getting a dragon's view, appearing and disappearing when they blink their eyes. They don’t know I’m right there besides them hearing everything, watching every little move, always one step ahead, anticipating to unleash the fire they have never seen. They think they can fight the fire with cold, but they are wrong, and they don’t see it, and they believe they can shield against the fire with ice. When they sleep, I enter their dreams to give them the night to remember, to see them burn alive, unable to scream, only fire and fire. There is nowhere to escape, because I’m everywhere, in everything you see, always haunting, spitting fir

“Everything happens for a reason”, the cliche, people still use after doing everything. I don’t know why I started with that sentence. Maybe it’s irrelevant, but I want to see where that sentence takes me to. Sometimes, people use that sentence for a relief from all the problems, they stumble upon, or in other times they use it to mock after creating problems for people other than themselves. The one thing, they don’t understand is that what they are doing is leading that person   move to a bigger destiny, and unknowingly becoming the part of shaping up that person. Yeah, they can put that person to real danger. Still, they don’t consider the effects of their failure. Will it make that person weaker or stronger? It’s similar to the case of our body’s fight mechanism against diseases. After every win, our defence mechanism multiplies many folds, and if it’s done without any help of medicines, more effective it will become.  

It’s 11:45 pm, which means I don’t have to stay in bed pretending that I’m asleep for long. When that clock hits 12, I will leave to some place far away where no one can reach, and there I don’t have to act like most of the people do in their everyday life. I can be myself the whole time. I will be alone in that place, and no one will ever come there, even if I invite one, for they don’t understand what it means to be in that place. There, I can feel the silence that my mind always craves for, but for most of the people, silence is something they can’t accept. If they remain silent for five or fifteen minutes, they will go crazy or they will be asleep. They are busy all the time, talking endlessly, and they can’t stop their chattering mind. In that place, no one has to act like anyone else, no one needs to impress anyone, and no one will question the reason for my silence, and most importantly, I don’t owe any kind of explanation to anyone for any of my actions.