My diary

If there was something between us, would I have been alright? The only thing that’s aching me was what happened to me physically, it’s keeping me in a circle. Otherwise, for what reason, I would even think about her. I don’t know a single quality of her, never had a conversation, never properly heard her voice, never seen properly, not a good memory only charred remains of mine, and I’m looking at them now. They tried to force her on me when I was repeatedly implying a no. Then it became a suffocation for me until that son of a bitch came and sat near me. A fox, he thinks of himself, but he is nothing short of a coward, a disgrace. He must be her dad or I don’t know what to call him. He is well suited for the word I’m not telling.

I cried, not exactly me, before leaving here, from morning to evening for days. All those abuses, I feel sad for him, not had a happy memory in his life. I didn’t know why he was crying, now I know, he was preparing to leave, leaving everything behind. He believed he was hated, and no one corrected him. He was kind, and everyone walked over him, but he signed out in peace, deep inside he knew it wasn’t his fault. His Karma was clean, too clean. Now, he is reigning in hell, you would ask why hell? It wasn’t an ordinary death; the weight was too much for him to carry. That’s why I’m here. I know he will keep my place in balance until I return.

Someone is waiting for me, circling me, I can hear her footsteps (Anklets).  Actually, she woke me up and now she is outside or some chill is near my foot, I don’t know why it’s so cold. I thought these were the product of someone’s imagination, but no. These things are real. This is not my first encounter with its kind, but that felt like a dream, but now it’s live. I can hear it right now. Those anklets, I’m hearing, at first, I thought someone is trying to play with me, any recorded sound playing in a loop, but it’s different, there is something I noticed. If I focus on the sound, one minute it’s near me, and the next moment it is somewhere far from me. Things are getting weird here. Hey, if you are reading this, please don’t frighten me (I was talking to that lady who is supposed to wear a white saree while pacing back and forth). I don’t know what happened after I wrote this, it has been two days, and nights are silent.

I’m in the mood to write, with this background music, it feels so good. But no words can explain somethings about how it used to be. Those days when my pets used to sleep in my lap, gave me company while I was studying. That non-stop talking with your sibling. But now it’s all memories. But everything collapsed when aliens started messing with our brains. They made us fight each other, now I’m sitting with just those memories, and I look at my pets whether to pet them or not. It was full of life, laughter, even the rain was magical. Now in that same home, with the same people, I don’t feel safe. My pets made my life beautiful, now I just stare at them from distance, sometimes I blink my eyes and they do the same in return. My life was beautiful.

I never questioned anything, I was simply praying, and everything else, God took care of. But the world labelled everything I do, If I simply draw a fire in my iPad, then it is suddenly about her when I never even thought of her, and when I looked into the picture years after, there I saw her. I never spent a minute thinking about her, the only thing I did was pray, and the things I wrote was supposed to end up in the trash, but suddenly from somewhere I got this idea not to throw it away. Reading it anyone will think that I’m holding some kind of grudge against her, but the fact was never. I was just developing my skills, but she was never in my mind. If God was never there, my story would have been non-existent and everything that happened to me still be inside some corner of my mind. When I was mute, God made me talk, gave me clarity about what happened.