Uncertainty

Where does this strength come from? This room, why am I still sleep in here? I know it’s dangerous. I feel nothing. Still, I sleep with nothing, but uncertainty. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? And I have grown fighting fears, and now things are different. Things that scared me no longer terrifies me. When I close my eyes, I look to my guardians, and they give me strength. It’s different when you stop running, you choose to stay, and move forward. My life is uncertain, but everyone made me comfortable in being alone, fighting on my own, my weakness became my biggest strength, maybe I was raised by God that way for this, also God doesn’t give you challenges you can’t handle, you just have to stay, and take one step after another, and I have come a long way in that way. I’m living in the moment, without worrying about the past and my future is the next one hour or two, not years ahead. Still, I smile, because it’s in my blood, it doesn’t depend on my situation, why? Experience. What would have happened if everything went good, I would have earned some money, worked on a job which will probably get dated in the future, and spend all my money buying gadgets which I will throw away after some years. Or I would have followed my brother’s path without knowing he is not worth following which means I will probably leave my degree with all it’s arrears. So, in a way, it was path correction. But, I can’t find a reason or find a justification to what happened to me in other ways. It was a mixed result, it had both, but that’s how we grow. After all, looking back, it’s just a story, a fading memory, maybe it’s a fading memory because I’m taking good care of myself removing all the toxins from my life. I like to keep it that way. I’m not behind anyone, I’m just living in another dimension, the dimension where you have less need for money, where God comes for my aid, where true happiness resides. It is because of God, I started to look within, I started to read, write and even paint, and in all of my works I can see God’s fingerprint. Everything is hard to understand, because you can’t believe. These days, I never get tired, because I do the things I love. If you push a little more, you don’t even need food and water to live, it’s the speciality of that dimension and you can do magic!