Begging

Why I chased her even after getting a no was what I typed on my mail draft on the last days of my college. I somehow got the smell that I was being watched and my mind played tricks, many what if’s. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go near a person who even looks at me in an uninteresting way. Now, when I think back, I agree that I was begging. But, not for a relationship, just for an answer, so that I can move on with my life. And she played with that. I was perfectly fine with a no, all I needed was a good conversation like two human beings.

When I went to her place, I asked her brother to mediate a call between her, just to get an answer that I can trust. Then I asked one of her friends to arrange a meeting, just to talk under normal circumstances, but they were not ready for talking. And I was stubborn for an answer without realizing she was not worth that effort. If I never doubted the first call I made to be fake, because of true caller and the voice, I never would have attempted to contact her again. 

All of this happened because of that person who was sitting near me at the college. Otherwise, I never would have given her any attention, she would be just one of many girls who watches me secretly. When we step out of our home, how many people watches us, we don’t go looking for answer with them. That was the same with me.

I asked everyone for help, and no one was willing. At least they should have reminded me of my situation, that single thing was enough for me to back away. If I had a true friend, maybe my life wouldn’t have become a tragedy.