No more facade

To be honest, I don’t like being forced. You have to learn to respect people’s decision. No means no don’t make it worse, you will only cause hate and suffocation. And you did that enough. Even if I’m saying this, I know you are having a life with husband and children, it must be someone else’s play to keep me in the circle. If you check my earlier documents, you can find yourself getting teared away, but I didn’t mean any of it, it is just that I want it to be stopped. I’m being tortured endlessly, it’s been ten years, I’m a human, I deserve freedom. I don’t carry hate towards anyone, in your case too, it’s not any different. People are bent on making me hate you, according to me, we parted ok, however cruel you were, by denying me a fair conversation. I would even like to get a glimpse of you from far away other than the shape shifters roaming around me to know you are doing well. Whoever is doing it, please be fair, just stop. Actually, I signed off really well by praying for you, there was no hate, and it was the end. Then, one day, when I was in college for submitting fees or writing exams, some voice came inside me, a sudden rush of bad words from some unknown source, I think it’s an exam day. I don’t know who was behind it, certainly it wasn’t me. Then started the haunting. Everyone thinks this isn’t me talking, actually it’s the real me, you can say I was undercover, a façade whatever you can think of. Even though you found me blurting out words like most of the senseless people there, I was just keeping myself talking, just to not to depart into my inner silence. My inner voice has always been the same, that is what you are seeing or hearing right now. Now I no longer need the façade, that’s why my chats are different these days, it’s not like someone else is in my body.