Throne

Am I frozen? I have more than enough reasons to cry, still I don’t feel anything. I’m not feeling the depth of the wounds I collected. Something is stopping me from accessing it, am I not strong to withstand it? I’m not poking it either, why? I have found ways to distract me, to find happiness in other things, maybe the wounds are not healed, it’s still there, waiting to get attention, but I don’t dare to visit those. I don’t know what would happen if I do that. Another reason could be I never shared anything to anyone in my life, you know what happens when something consoles you when you are about to cry. Sometimes music does it to me. And I cry.

You never cry if you are always alone. You can cry as much as you wish, but you have to pick yourself from the depths you have fallen into, because no one is coming. If no one is there to tell you it’s going to be okay, speak to you about it, there is no need for crying, you just froze. And it accumulates over time, and you build a kingdom with it, and you sit in that throne.