My plan some time ago: I would leave this home without anything, no bag, no money, with nothing, and I will just walk, and keep walking. And I will be protected and guided by God, and the only thing that would pull me backward was the lack of food. If I hacked that problem, I was sure that no one would ever see me again.
Is that plan a problem? I don’t think it was such
a bad idea, because I’m the king of solitude.
That was a time I lost interest in everything, I
lost interest in money, for it was pointless, I lost interest in getting a job,
because that was too felt like pointless. All I wanted was peace, not going for
anything, just staring into the sky, listening to everything around me, just
breathing. I was sitting in a corner, but I was never broken, I was just a
little more enlightened. I started to ask myself questions, and he was telling
the right things. The questions inside me started to change from What if to So
what, and I learned to show my middle finger to the whole world. On those dark
moments, I was silently growing, my thickness of my heart was getting more
thicker, and I lost emotions. The things which make people shatter started to
make me laugh.
Then one day, I met God, and I began to melt, I
started to cry for no reason, maybe he was saving me from going cold.
Right now, I should be worried for my life, but
I’m not, I don’t feel anything. It’s like normal days. I have warned them a
long time ago that they should be worried for exposing me to such things, but
they didn’t listen. Battle-hardened, I guess.
