My diary

If I’m going to die within two days, would I spend my time doing programming and make money? It’s an interesting question - What should I do? Even if I’m going to die within a year, would I still do it? What a boring kind of way to live. As a kid, I used to play GTA and use cheat codes to load money into my account. One wisdom I found with that game is that no matter how much money I had, it was of no use. It was all numbers. So, what should I do with my life? Should I spend my time doing coding when there are so many interesting things to do in this world? When it comes to cars, I’m not the speeding type, and all cars does the same and they don’t fly. I’m the one who slows down and enjoys the view, not the zero to sixty in three seconds. So, why do I need so much money? All the beautiful things in the world are free of cost. So, why do people need so much money and why should I follow their footsteps? Imagine watching the sunrise at early morning after waking up at five, that

When you sleep, interesting things happen here. Worms bite on you with an intention to change you inside out in ways you can't imagine. They infect you with poison which doesn’t comes from their mind and returns to where they belong. In mornings, the poison starts talking to you, playing with your mind, twisting things and making you believe things which aren’t real. For a person who is experiencing those things for the first time will have no choice other than to believe it, but for me, it's not the same.

I’m not jealous of you, the way you used to smile, the way you used to talk, and I can’t believe that you were me. If anyone asks me to go back to my old version, the answer is NO. That time, I was a lost kid, always following the crowd, my happiness was always at the mercy of others, and I had no time for myself. But now, I’m at peace. When I lie down, I feel like I’m being pampered, my worries gone, and instead of the temporary states like happiness or sadness, I feel peace. I think it’s better to be in this state than the former ones. Years ago, my heart used to break when something happens to my Internet connection or during the power cuts, but now, things are different. I have no regrets for spending the day doing nothing, and the truth is that it’s the most productive thing to do.