Some diary writing

Questions? Why there was a female waiting for me everywhere I went? Both Schools and College? All of them looked better than everyone else every time in all of the three places. When I talked about the chakras and meditation, the next day my mother seemed disappointed like she doesn’t want me healed, she wanted that fate for me, why? Why is that arch in front of my home in such a poor condition, just look at the dresses she is wearing, how poorly it is being handled. Why? Why try to murder me without a reason, I’m harmless. I can’t even cross the road without checking more than thrice. When I went to buy things for the shop, the shop owner was delaying my departure, and his hands were shaking, like he wants me to be late, like something eery was being planned, and then again crossing the road needs to happen, and something else, that temple near that shop, I felt like they needed me in there, that’s when I thought about all the news related to lynching. How get people killed for just doing a simple thing like that, and that kept me multiple times from visiting that temple, but still one or two times I visited. Every time, that shop owner was nervous, he was delaying me, his hands were shaking. Everything tells me I’m not safe anymore, because they know I’m not screwed like they thought to be, I’m recovering. If I don’t die. What would happen to them? They want me dead, the road, the temple, the cold that creep inside my room, pulling of my soul when I’m about to fall asleep, then finally the last night’s murder attempt on me. I’m not safe, and I don’t know whom to trust. And this is not fiction. I shouldn’t trust my family and relatives, If I do, I’m dead.