Pain

Easy is not always right. Self-respect comes before everything. If I can’t respect myself, how would I respect others. But, two third of mine is not right, not gender wise, I’m no light. I’m sin. I’m born and raised in darkness, I never saw a sunrise one or two years before, though I write about such experiences. Ghosts were my friends though I never met them, they were always there, and I hope they will guide me home. I write about waves, but there were only a few times I was there, it was all fiction, and everything about me is too. Who knows what else is hidden underneath (Some you lose with time, or remain dormant out there somewhere, believing their nonexistence that it isn’t there, maybe it gets accumulated somewhere, and when it reaches the breaking point, I cry for silly reasons, maybe it’s not silly, maybe they are). Maybe my closed ones left me a huge scar by framing me for not being normal, I was just normal. Or honestly, I don’t know the exact reason, something just pushes me forward. Deep down I know it’s not the only reason I know of. When you get crucified for things you haven’t done, it’s a different pain. But I have my own ways to recover and put everything behind me, I miss them. However temporary it is, it’s a fix. Writing this, I know how hopeless I’m.

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