Tears

Tears are supposed to charge you up, but I feel so exhausted. My eyes feel tired. If I wash my face, it will make my eyes feel more tired, what would I do? It’s like I have done some work that demands so much energy, but when tears were rolling down, I felt good, it was very comfortable. I want to do it again, but it will ruin this night, I need to save some energy for the rest of the night. There weren’t many times I remember crying, it was rare. But there were three such instances which I still remember. One, when I was a child, I was sent back to home in front of everyone for not knowing how to do fraction. Second, the night at the relative’s house. Third, the final time I cried with so much pain, at that hospital bed, when they were about to sedate me. After that, I needed God to make me cry, I lost my ability to cry, I froze. These three times were most special, for it was not ordinary crying. Something broke inside me, it was all automatic, I couldn’t control myself, I burst into tears, without sound, I know how hard it was crying with your mouth shut.