Meditation?

No matter how much I believe in the idea of sleeping, deep inside I know I’m nowhere near the sleep quota of an ideal human being. So, what happens at night? I don’t think, they are letting me sleep, otherwise I wouldn’t be this tired waking up, my eyelids feel heavy, and I want to return back to bed. So, is there a need to go to bed at night? I don’t think sleep is working out for me. What if I stay awake, at least I would be productive with that time, instead of believing I slept well. Something wrong is happening here when I sleep, here no one wants me to stay awake at night to the extent that they wouldn’t sleep without making sure that I closed my eyes. Why do they care so much about it? Why can’t they just sleep without making sure that I closed my eyes? Why are they trying so hard to pretend that they are asleep, for I know they are not, they are looking me at night with half closed eyelids. Is this a life? I’m being tortured here in every possible way. At night, they wouldn’t let me sleep, and at daytime, these spirits pose a threat to me, to my life. What if I give up sleeping at night and switch to meditation? That would solve most of my problems.

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