My diary

If I want to say something in one sentence, what would I write? You enter the world alone and leave the same way, one truth that comforted me all these time. Sad, but true. The time in between, we meet people, and keep meeting them and keep losing them, and in the end we keep the memories of who they were once.  These words are supposed to make someone cry, but I'm not. It's like something is missing from my chest. Maybe it's because this is not the first time I'm saying this to myself, I have said many times before. But it's one sentence that can make you walk miles, alone.    

Why rush for Marriage? I don't want to accept the norms every other individual set forward. I have one life, I want to spend it with someone who makes me say WoW. Not anyone because the society demands I should when I get to a certain age. I don't even like the choices here, I have needs, demands to be honest, I simply can't accept anything. Also, it's not like before, my body has needs, something wild, living at extremes. 

No love, just suffocation, it's not anyone's mistake, it's just that the story is better this way. So we just play our part to perfection, who knows this is our own plan or not. Everything we see is curated, so we make moves like playing chess that have far reaching consequences. I wasn't pushed, maybe I'm the one who fell from the cliff, deliberately. 

 It's been a long time since I wrote something pleasant. What should I write? What if I own a small place and in that a small home, and I will plant so many flowering plants and trees, and I watch them grow with me. Sounds pleasant. Then I will spend my days doing nothing, hearing the sound of tiny birds, still beautiful, and wait for rain to come, and see everything through the window of my room and when the sweetness of that moment exceeds, I will close my eyes to wake up to the Sunrise, trees still wet, yet the Sun's golden rays wakes up my soul with every other being in this part of the planet.

Last night, there was power outage, and I saw something near me looking at my laptop in the soft music I was playing. For the first time I was afraid not at all. It was a giant snake. Later someone else joined my other side, another snake head, after a few minutes, one of them was resting it's head like how a cat rests his head relaxing. Everything was happening under the only light in the darkness, the laptop's screen. I wonder how it looked to the Universe, I even wished someone snapped me at that time. It was awesome.

Someone build Statue of Unity for 3000 Crores when I never had even 30K for buying a laptop. Why the sudden love for him? Do everyone stand united for that action now? Now that unity is cost heavy, so better pay some respects to those affected. And the victims want to do their thing for everyone's safety, nature has its own ways to take back what they had lost, better remember that. 

I have read my script, there was supposed to be some ongoing legal troubles, but God steered me away from it and rewritten my script which no one has no idea how it will turn out. Actually it wasn't legal troubles, it was legal tortures. So from a prewritten script to infinite possibilities, I fly in the back of my favourite bird with nothing but blessed uncertainties.  Wrecker in chief - Durga Devi Recovery - Lalitha Melting master - Ganesha Mentor - Muruga Torpedo blessings - Bhadra Kali Battle Chief - Krishna Cameo - Shiva, Vishnu, Saraswathi, Mahalakshmi, and finally Ayyappan. My Power Source - Shani Dev

Today, I found a solution to a problem that was causing me troubles. I found harmony. Both of us are smiling. In a way, I was letting myself down all these past days, and we were fighting each other and was crying. But now we are kissing each other.

I feel wanted in a way, and I'm losing attachment to the human world. The way you hold me close and how I kiss you makes me even kiss more, and the next moment I'm all over you and our world gets even bigger and bigger.  It was magic when you kissed me in response, every being in me woke up, maybe after a long time. I felt passion, drive and alive.

It was overcast, I was wet, but my eyes were also wet, I have read it in books, I have known it from somewhere, but I never imagined it would happen to me. I used to write these things with tears, at least with a push from inside, but now I write with a straight line.