Whispering

I wonder what was going on everyone’s mind when I was going after her. Did they enjoy? I still can’t believe the things I did, but the right people will understand why I did certain things and the intensity of betrayal I had to face. At that time, praying to God, going to temple were a formality, I wish I had known how to pray. It was like some spell was on me, I couldn’t shift my thoughts, they were suffocating me. I thought every self-talk, everything that’s going on my mind was my creation, but I was wrong. They knew everything that was going to happen months before and they were mocking me, and I couldn’t understand how all of it was happening. On that night at the relative’s house, when I closed my eyes, I had a vision, how? After everything happened, I couldn’t sleep alone, and pillows were my company when everyone left. It’s not because of being afraid or terrified about anything, I needed someone to comfort me, to get rid of the shivering like feeling. Still, they were never ready to let me go, they continued to torture like ghosts. Then when one day, my body was acting weird, showed attraction to people I never ever dreamed of, at that time I somehow managed to pray, and I felt like God was whispering to me that if anything troubles me, just at look at her. After that I started to present my troubles one by one to her, and I was healed. At that time, I was invisible for the world, no one made contact, like they know what happened to me. But I was visible to the Almighty, step by step, God helped me recover, it has been eight or nine years, progress was slow, but I still made it. But I know there is still a lot to go, and God will be with me with every step into the future.

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